Like most people, I find myself in situations from time to time where I tend to indulge my rageful side. On occasion I allow my frustrations to get the best of me, most often while in deep battle in our world famous Los Angeles traffic.
Example: just the other day I was cut off by an upstanding citizen in an all black Audi A6 with tinted windows and blacked out taillights. His license plate very fittingly read MRWRONG. Up until this point in my commute I had been patiently waiting in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I was content in my own little world, sipping a soda and blasting the Spice Girls. MRWRONG decided it was at this moment he would break up the harmony of my commute and cut me off causing me to slam on my brakes. My rage began to boil, and coupled with the sassy girl powered anthems tickling my earholes, I decided to indulge myself. I let out a slew of colorful comments directed at my new friend who was now conveniently right in front of me, but as you can imagine he was none the wiser as he sat quietly inside his $50k sound proof box.
Not satisfied with the apparent non receipt of my carefully directed verbal assault, I resorted to the tried and true crowd favorite and gave MRWRONG the middle finger. I was unsure if my rage was received but just then MRWRONG rolled down his driver side window and returned the gesture. Not two seconds later he changed lanes and began to cut off a whole new group of traffic goers.
As I watched MRWRONG fade into the distance continuing to cut off car after car, I began to think about my actions. As some of you might be thinking I did not come to the conclusion that I over reacted, or that my reaction was uncalled for. What I did decide was that a new physical sign of displeasure needs to be invented and adopted by my fellow Americans. I thought to myself: if this confrontation happened face-toface, my choice of verbal abuse could be ramped up with an intensely obscene finger/palm configuration to shove in the face of some poor sap. I would be able to call MRWRONG a “dick”, or an “ass”, or a “bitch of all cunts.” These words strung together properly can properly represent my inner rage, while paired with a sign that encapsulates all of the sentiments that even the most strongly-worded insult could not convey. As I completed the second hour of my commute I day dreamed of the possibilities of this new gesture and contemplated the world being given a new color to add to their palate of sign language vulgarity. I poise the task to you. Go forth and give the worlds fist shakers and bird flippers a new gesture they can sink their teeth into. I can see it now...soon it will be all the rage.
This is a slice of life brought to us by Joey Pugliese
